Oh, man! Break your heart . . . and/or make you pursue a higher goal

I dragged the scroll bar forward about 10 seconds every 2 seconds of watching; I can read the cards faster than she flips them. But . . . oh! What a message!

Tears in my eyes.

May I never be so cruel.

Video. (Sorry. No tool to embed it.)

And a link to her website: About Lizzie: Be Beautiful, Be You.

Taking Inventory of Your Life

A post I just posted over on Strategic Inheritance: Taking Inventory of Your Life.

I thought it worthy of noting here on my personal blog.

Who am I?

A few months ago, one of the non-profits we support asked if I would consider joining their board. I said yes. They said they would need a biographical résumé from me--something that might help them understand me better before they considered whether seriously to ask me to join the board.

I sent them what I imagine may be the strangest résumé they have ever received. But it felt good.

Since then, I think I have come to understand a bit more about why I must have felt compelled to send them such a strange document.

First I told them about things I thought they might like to know about me "from a functional/professional/historical perspective": achievements, jobs and positions of responsibility (other board memberships, for example) that I've held, education, . . . things like that, but also key relationships that could impinge on my relationship with them, and current "primary concerns and interests" in life.

--Why would I "bother" them with such details? . . . I think such details would help anyone get to know me better: who I "really" am.

Personal information: when and where I was born, where I've lived (lots of places), family relationships with my wife and kids.

Stuff about my broader family--parents, brothers and sisters--that has shaped "who I am" and "how I view" and "how I deal with" life.

The agency is religious, so I included a bunch of information about spiritual faith realities which differentiate me from a lot of others.

Then, a lengthy discussion of what I called "John's character." And for this post, that's what I would like to concentrate on and reproduce here:

John's character:

• John is intensely interested in and concerned about integrity--saying what he means and meaning what he says . . . and expecting similar behavior on the part of people with whom and organizations with which he deals.
  
• Functionally, that means he speaks up quickly and forcefully--i.e., he will become highly confrontative--if or when he senses someone (or the group in which he is present) refuses either to address a truth "out there" or to speak the truth about what is happening "here." Put another way,
  
• He refuses to permit unacknowledged "elephants" to remain in the room!
  
• John seeks to bring opposing people and parties together through mutual understanding.
  
• John tends to avoid "group think" or pitting "our" side against "their" side. If he observes, in a group of which he is a part, a near-universal adoption of a certain mood or emotional feeling; or if he observes what he thinks may be a too-quick rush to affirm one point-of-view, he will often--almost as a knee-jerk response, it seems--place himself, emotionally, in the opposite mood or feeling and/or rouse himself to speak for the (or an) "other" perspective.
  
• John asks probing questions. He is interested in "everything."
  
• John tends to prefer finding whatever is "good" and potentially useful in an idea or proposal; he does not automatically or quickly seek to identify what is "bad" or unworkable in an idea or proposal. Depending on the circumstance, then, one might characterize him as (positively) "a possibility thinker," "good at research," or (negatively). . . rather "indecisive."
  
• With all that, however, John is relatively merciless when it comes to communication barriers. He is quick to notice--and finds it difficult not to comment on--features or factors that hinder communication: use of jargon, grammatical errors, circumlocutions, and so forth. Indeed,
  
• John is more acutely aware than most people of "environmental" factors and "background noise" that may cause difficulties. Not only is he aware, but he will turn his attention to identify these matters explicitly, and then address them. Thus, by way of examples:
  
• When a room becomes too hot, John is usually the first person to attempt to adjust the thermostat, turn on a fan, etc.
  
• If a sound system is too loud, too soft, provides too much treble or too much bass: John is often the first person to seek adjustments.
  
• If a publication or video seems muddled in presentation, John often identifies non-verbal factors--visual, spatial, sequential, aural, etc.--that contribute to the problem . . . and he normally expresses his concerns. . . .
In these ways, then, John is a problem-solver.

I realized, when I wrote this résumé, that it would come in handy--perhaps to make me more attractive to the non-profit organization, or, potentially, to make me very unattractive. After all, if they want or think they need someone who will strongly maintain "distinctives" in opposition to others--someone who will gladly "take on" those who are less than enthusiastic about the organization's mission, then I am probably not their man.

If they need someone to build bridges, I may very well be.

And, as I intend to discuss in my next post, being clear about who you are--your strengths and weaknesses--can readily improve help you and those with whom you intend to work maintain your focus on those tasks where you will serve most effectively and efficiently. . . .

Is there room in evangelical/Protestant churches for committed communities that seek to do "great things" for God?

We (our church) sang Tommy Walker's song this morning:

Break through, break through all my doubts
Break through, break through all my fears
Break through that I may worship You
Break through, break through all my pain
Break through, all my guilt and my shame
Break through like only You can do

Chorus
You are brighter than my darkest night
Stronger than my toughest fight
Just one touch from You my King, my friend
And I’ll never be the same again
Break through, break through
. . . like only You can do.

And I got thinking: I don't "live there." I don't want to "live there." I don't want even to try to "live there" with those emotions: doubts, fears, pain, shame.

Somewhere during the service someone mentioned infirmities.

I realize all of these emotions and physical experiences are part of life. Everyone experiences them. Sometime. Sometimes. But . . . Why would we--the church--"embrace" these things? Almost revel in them? . . . Isn't it true that the church, in history, has tended to "dwell" there? A major part of Christian "piety" through the years seems to have focused on remorse, regret, "woe is me," "I am unworthy," "I am but a worm." . . .

But then I look at the people who seem, often, to dwell in these regions--some of whom are very close to me: I don't want to be like them! I don't feel like a loser. I don't experience feelings of shame for the way I live. (At least not often!) And while I have plenty of doubts about a lot of things; and while I can think of things for which I realize I should be--need to be--afraid; and while I can think of battles I need to fight: somehow . . . I don't dwell in meditations about such things.

[I can imagine medieval knights meditated on such things--and needed to engage in such meditations. They were living in the midst of battles that deserved fear and required strength of a nature few of us today ever require. . . . ]

But then I got thinking: the things I think of as needing battle, as engendering fear: they are of a completely different nature than the things with which those I know, for whom life itself is a "struggle" . . . --The things I fear and battle are of a completely different nature than the things that those people "fear" and "battle."

I want to tell these others, "Get over [your (unfounded) fears and] your 'struggles'! It's time to move on with your life!"

. . . So . . . Where does one go if one wants to take on bigger battles than personal survival? Is there room in the Protestant church for committed communities that seek to do "great things" for God?

And . . . what about songs that focus less upon "me" and my (potential) "woe-is-me" state and more on the majesty and power and greatness of God . . . almost without reference to me? ----Even some semi-"contemporary" songs like Joey Holder's 17-year-old Scripture-based standard "Unto the King" (from 1 Timothy 1:17):

Now unto the King Eternal
Unto the King Immortal
Unto the King Invisible
The only wise God
The only wise God
(Repeat)

Unto the King be glory and honour
Unto the King forever
Unto the King be glory and honour
Forever and ever
Amen
Amen

Mortality

I received another email yesterday. Two, actually. And a third today. All about a guy just about my age. Another friend who is "more acquaintance than deep friend"; but I have felt privileged to know him and to have had him even call me up on occasion to suggest we might spend some time together.

Here. If I quote from the emails, you might catch a bit of the impact of what I read.

Email #1:

Steve Hawthorne had a heart attack last night. Praise God that he came out of surgery and there was no damage to his heart. Continue to pray for his recovery.

--Steve is one of the prime editors of the Perspectives on the World Christian Movement course, founder and president of WayMakers, and one of the most dynamic speakers I have ever listened to.

Email #2:

Steve Hawthorne had a heart attack while working out at the gym with his daughter Sarah last night (Wed 3/21). He told Sarah that he did not feel well and that his arm hurt, she told the desk to call 911 because her father was having a heart attack. Steve passed out and fell on his chin, but Sarah was right there to help him. The EMTs rushed him to the nearest hospital and within a few hours they had cleared the blockage and inserted a stint.

The good news is that his heart movement and blood work showed very little sign of damage to his heart. He is in ICU. He had called and left a message for me only a few hours after coming out of surgery and may be released to go home as early as tomorrow.

Steve is as passionate as anyone I know about glorifying Christ "in this body." So when he was going under because of the anesthesia, it was not surprising that the last message to his family was - "Philippians 1:21"

Philippians 1:20-26, NIV.

Steve is one of my best friends and a great mentor in my life. So I along with his family and multitudes of other people can rejoice that Steve remains in his body and that his fruitful labor will continue. (After a time of recovery of course.) Today there could be great sorrow, instead because the quick action taken by Sarah and the expertise of others, we can rejoice in Christ Jesus that Steve will continue with us "for our progress and joy in the faith" for some time to come.

Bruce Koch

And then Email #3:

I found out from Barb (Steve's wife) this morning that the type of heart attack Steve had (the largest artery on the heart and 100% blockage) is colloquially referred to as a "widowmaker" by doctors because there is only a 2% survival rate. Most are gone before arriving at the hospital. Barb said it was a miracle. It was a very close call. While none of the muscles are dead, they will not know how much they were weakened by the loss of oxygen for weeks to come.

Everyone in Steve's family slept last night, but they sound exhausted by the trauma. I talked to Sarah as well (It was her quick action that saved his life). Barb said Steve had been complaining about not being able to think clearly the last few weeks. So this would explain that. She also said his color already looks better than it has in a while.

Steve does have a small fever and is on antibiotics, so they are watching that closely today. He is still in ICU and they have not gotten him up to walk yet. They may move him to a regular room today and possibly release him as early as tomorrow.

Bruce Koch

World magazine prefaces its obituaries with the phrase, "Man knows not his time."

I am reminded once more: "I know not my time." . . . But I feel my mortality. May I live my life purposefully . . . as if each moment might be my last!

Wants #3: Family

Tougher and tougher!

Once more: McCarthy's list of eight areas of "wants":

• Physical/Health/Recreation
• Finance/Material Possessions
• Family
• Vocation/Career
• Social/Community
• Spiritual
• Mental/Intellectual
• Other

So I'm up to "Family."

I love my wife. As I identify myself here, I'm the "husband to the wife of my youth" . . . which is a direct reference to Proverbs 5:18b, but, by implication, to the section from Proverbs 5:15-20:

Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.
Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?
Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer--
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love.
Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress?
Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?

Family Goals

• I want to remain faithful to my wife above all else, when it comes to "Family." Though maybe faithful isn't even the right word. I want to love her . . . I think, to use a term from Scripture: "As Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her . . ." (Ephesians 5:25-26). --I'm afraid that may be a bit more "pie in the sky" than I want: I am sure I fail at it far too often. But that's my desire. That's what I want. . . .
  
  As I said back in Love Languages: The Gift of Gift-Giving . . . and Receiving:
  

  Closeness . . . means--and has always meant--[such] a great deal to me that [I permitted] no one--no one, not even any of our kids, even when they were exceptionally young-- . . . "get between" Sarita and me. If we were sitting in church: no one sat between us. Ever. It was simply understood. The symbolism was too great, too meaningful.

So that's #1.

After that, . . .

• I want to pass on a legacy of wisdom to my kids and grandkids. I'm not exactly sure what that means in practice. I think it includes thoughtfulness, and a desire for graciousness in speech and conduct. . . . And if and when we fail (which, I am afraid, we will all do far more often than we would prefer) . . . then I want them to be quick to seek forgiveness and reconciliation with the person(s) they have offended: to be "made right." That is a heart desire.

This one is really tough. I find myself torn, torn, torn on it.

On the one side:

• I don't want to be a "Cat's in the Cradle" dad:

  My child arrived just the other day
  He came to the world in the usual way
  But there were planes to catch and bills to pay.
  He learned to walk while I was away
  And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
  He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, Dad.
  You know I'm gonna be like you."
  
  And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
  Little boy blue and the man on the moon.
  "When you comin' home, Dad?"
  "I don't know when. But we'll get together then, son.
  You know we'll have a good time then."
  
  My son turned ten just the other day.
  He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad. Come on, let's play.
  Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today.
  I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
  And he walked away, and his smile never dimmed.
  He said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
  You know I'm gonna be like him. . . ."

  --Harry Chapin

My eyes tear up just writing those words!

I so much wish I could have had a closer relationship with my own dad. . . .

So: I want not to have a Harry Chapin-esque "Cat's in the Cradle" kind of relationship with my kids and grandkids.

But yet, at the same time, I have to confess, I have to fight my . . .

• humongously strong desire for . . . time to be by myself; time to think; time to . . . just "be."
  
  And I have never been "good" at--and



• I have no desire for--"chit chat" kinds of conversation.
  
  I endure it. I can "even"--when I'm really deliberate about it-- . . . I can "even" permit myself to enjoy light conversation: just "let it flow." But I will never seek it out. I will seek human company. And for the sake of such company, I will enjoy the camaraderie of light banter and "shooting the breeze." But if the conversation turns deep, if it turns "fierce": then I feel I'm truly in my element. . . .
  
  So that "reality" means
  
  
  • I find myself pretty shredded when my kids or grandkids are over.
    
    
  • I want to spend time with them, but
    
    
  • I don't "just" want light time, and
    
    
  • I don't want to force heavy time, and
    
    
  • I know I can't expect to enjoy the heavy times if I'm not "there" for them during the light banter times when, in the midst of such conversation the heavier topics will almost inevitably make themselves felt and known. . . .
  
  So I often find myself "apart" from the family, kind of "doing my thing," yet feeling drawn to--guilty, even, because I'm not involved in--their conversations.
  
  I guess I'm a kind of "double-minded" man at that point. . . .
  
  [Strange: This seems to be a pattern in our growing extended family. While the women watch the little ones (the grandkids) and enjoy fellowship one with another, the adult men in the family (other than me) seem to sneak off and play video games or watch movies together. I sit in my office, often at my computer, and do this kind of stuff--like writing blog posts. I don't join either group. Because I think video games are pretty stupid, and I don't enjoy "chit chat."
  
  But if the women decide to go for a walk or something, then I love to join them.]
  
  Weird.

Well. Back to wants.

Y'know? I can't really think of any more "wants" right now. I'm afraid this is as far as I'm going to be able to take this right now.

But as I said before: this is a start. And a start is better than no start at all.

So I'll quit now. . . .

Wants #2: Finances/Material Possessions

So I'm continuing to think about my "wants."

McCarthy's list of eight areas:

• Physical/Health/Recreation


• Finance/Material Possessions


• Family
• Vocation/Career


• Social/Community


• Spiritual


• Mental/Intellectual


• Other

I've been able to get rather specific in the area of Physical/Health/Recreation. I find it tougher to define wants in the other areas.

But let me try.

Finance/Material Possessions

First round. (Don't get bogged down in attempting to define a final, "perfect" list, John!)

• I want to have enough to live modestly.
  
  Some negatives:
  
  
  • I want not to live "above my means."
  
  
  • I want not to "live rich"; I want to cap my consumption . . . so that I might have something to share with others.
  
  This matter of having something to share, of course, also depends on my next want:


• I want to earn enough that I might have an abundance out of which I can give. (Ephesians 4:28: "Let him who steals, steal no longer. Rather, let him work . . . that he may have something to share with those in need.")


• I want to live wisely with what I have so that I can fulfill the "good" spoken of in Micah 6:8: "to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God."


• I want to conduct my affairs in such a manner that I do not hurt others . . .


• That I pay my bills on time at the latest.


• That, if or when I borrow, I do so, if at all possible, while possessing assets with which I could pay back the loan immediately. --Actually, this has a dual purpose. Not only does it protect my lender from possible default, but it protects me from engaging in the kind of loan into which the truly desperate--the profoundly poor--enter and, thus, become servants or slaves (Proverbs 22:7). [NOTE: Yes, I am convinced there are different types of loans and different forms of borrowing and some are wicked and some are wise. But that belongs somewhere else.]

The following is a tough one. I am having to overcome very strong "habits of mind" instilled in me from when I was very young:

• To live generously, not stingily. I find this showing up in such areas as


• Tips . . . to waiters and waitresses, cab drivers, porters, etc., etc. --I really struggle with this kind of stuff!


• "Picking up the tab" when I'm with someone. --It is so easy to "let the other person do it."


• Providing really nice food . . . at a potluck, say, or . . . whenever.


• When I give, to give wisely and purposefully. Not to be controlled by foolish sentimentality. . . .

First round. . . . To be continued.

Strengths & Talents: Finding one's life mission or purpose

Some meditations, now, inspired by Marcus Buckingham & Donald Clifton's Now, Discover Your Strengths.

We should probably note the title: Now, Discover Your Strengths. Buckingham and Clifton focus on that word strength or talent. You are strong in an area, they say, if you can produce "consistent near perfect performance" (p. 25) and you "can fathom yourself doing [that activity] repeatedly, happily, and successfully" (p. 26). "The acid test of a strength is that you can do it consistently and near perfectly" (p. 56).

The authors define talent not significantly differently from how they define strength. Talents, they say, are "naturally recurring patterns of thought, feeling, or behavior that can be productively applied" (p. 48). They make a big point of the idea that these are naturally recurring patterns.

Put talent and strength together and you begin to see that they are somewhat like "handedness": you are "talented" or "strong" in one hand or the other; you are either "right-handed" or "left-handed."

And while it is possible to compensate for the loss of one's dominant hand, if you have both hands, why not use the one whose competence comes naturally?

Similarly, while it is true that with enough practice almost anyone may be able to acquire a certain skill, that doesn't mean they can do it naturally, repeatedly, near-"effortlessly."

So, Buckingham and Clifton urge us, pursue your talents: "Look inside yourself, try to identify your strongest threads, reinforce them with practice and learning, and then either find or . . . carve out a role that draws on these strengths every day. When you do, you will be more productive, more fulfilled, and more successful" (p. 21).

They make two additional, and pertinent comments:

• "[Y]ou do not have to have strength in every aspect of your role in order to excel. . . . [E]xcellent performers [are] rarely well rounded. On the contrary, they [are] sharp" (p. 26).

And,

• "[Y]ou will excel only by maximizing your strengths, never by fixing your weaknesses. This is not the same as saying 'ignore your weaknesses.' [Successful people do] not ignore their weaknesses. Instead, they . . . [find] ways to manage around their weaknesses, thereby freeing them up to hone their strengths to a sharper point" (p. 26).

Well. With this in mind, I began to try to figure out my strengths and talents. What are my natural propensities--my natural habits that, as Buckingham and Clifton say, "can be productively applied"? If the authors are correct--and I believe they are--these should help me become more "productive, fulfilled, and successful."

Personal Wants

So I've been thinking about my "wants" as per Kevin McCarthy's urging in The On-Purpose Person.

I'm astonished at the results of my thinking.

First, out of the eight categories, I find myself "clear" in only one area: "Physical/Health/Recreation." And, really, only in the Physical/Health category.

I don't think much about physical recreation. I don't do physical recreation. At least not much. I enjoy going on walks with Sarita and riding our Greenspeed recumbent tandem trike. But we do that. We (or, should I say I?) don't want that in any yearning sense of the term. We just do it whenever the feeling strikes. . . .

But the second thing: Why am I unembarrassed to acknowledge my "wants" in the physical area, but in almost every other area of my life I am a bit embarrassed to acknowledge "wants"--as it's "unspiritual" or something, to "want." ("After all, aren't we supposed to be content with what we have . . . be open to wherever God leads . . . ?" --Philippians 4:11-12; 1 Timothey 6:6-8; etc.)

Third: . . . I'm not sure what is third.

I wonder to myself: Is it my wants that are so important? Shouldn't I be more concerned about what God wants? (Well, yes.) But, then . . . --Maybe I could (and should) say that my wants are along the lines of "whatever God wants"? . . . But that kind of answer permits me too much flexibility and open-endedness: I have no clear goal(s) to pursue. . . .

*****

Very incomplete lists, but I thought I would begin. Just get a few thoughts out "on paper," as it were. . . .

Physical/Health/Recreation

• Maintain my current weight.
• [Secret desires; my doctor and I really question their legitimacy; but . . . !!!]:
• Lose the five pounds necessary in order to meet the "official" value, at my height, of being non-"overweight."
• Lose 10 to 15 pounds in order to be more truly "skinny" the way I used to be.
• Maintain my current physical fitness levels.
• Use the ROM/QuickGym six times a week--three times upper body, three times lower body--whenever I'm home and not deathly ill.
• Maintain my sexual potency.
• Maintain and/or improve physical appearance:
• Get my teeth straightened.
• Do something about the bags becoming more and more prominent under my eyes. . . .

Finance/Material Possessions

Family

Vocation/Career

Social/Community

Spiritual

Mental/Intellectual

Other

Defining One's Personal Mission: On- or Off-Purpose?

Well, I have now read The On-Purpose Person: Making Your Life Make Sense and am working my way through Now, Discover Your Strengths.

Both book emphasize becoming aware of yourself--your wants (in the case of The On-Purpose Person) and your strengths (in the case of Now, Discover Your Strengths).

In The On-Purpose Person, Kevin McCarthy urges us to create 8 want lists: one list in each of the following areas:

• Physical/Health/Recreation
• Finance/Material Possessions
• Family
• Vocation/Career
• Social/Community
• Spiritual
• Mental/Intellectual
• Other

Plan to write incomplete lists, but keep updating them and adding to them over time.

And then, he suggests, run single-elimination "tournaments" among your various wants--like in tennis or the championship series for basketball and baseball: "play" each want against another; whichever one "wins" as most important then goes up against a similar "winner" from a separate contest. Keep playing your wants against each other until one comes out on top. Then play your remaining wants against each other until you find your second most compelling desire. And your third. And fourth. And so on until you produce as thorough a list of top-priority wants as you can reasonably pursue. . . . And then pursue them. Diligently.

I'm not sure I fully agree with placing your own desires at the center of your life's purpose. But hopefully you have acquired "the mind of Christ" and so your desire is His desire or, rather, His desires are now yours (Psalm 37:4, NIV: "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart"; see also Romans 12:2).

If your desires are right and are good, then it sure seems it should be a good thing if you diligently pursue those items that are at the top of your list for being significant and worthy of pursuit! So, once you know your highest priority wants, you can then evaluate how you're spending our time: are you on-purpose, or off? Are you investing your time in those activities that you have declared are your highest priorities . . . or not?

A swamp or a river?

I was talking with a friend this morning. She said a counselor or hers had suggested her life was like a swamp: it lacked boundaries and direction. The counselor suggested she needed to look for the appropriate channel walls, the barriers, the limitations in which the energy of her life could--and should--flow.

We ought to see rivers of living water flowing from our lives (John 7:38). We ought not to have stagnant pools of water surrounding us because we lack . . . purpose . . . or direction.

Motivating power

As I've been thinking about purpose, vision, mission, and so forth, I've had reason to think about the other word that, at least in the last few years, has been closely associated with the word purpose. That additional word? Driven . . . as in . . . the Purpose-Driven Church and the Purpose-Driven Life.

I don't want to discuss Rick Warren's books (from whose titles the italicized words, above, are drawn). I wanted merely

1. To note that I have heard criticisms of the word driven . . . all by itself . . . with or without reference to Warren's books. [For a beginning primer in why Warren's books may deserve a more critical reception than they seem generally to have gotten, I am happy to direct you to Berit Kjos' "Spirit-Led or Purpose-Driven?" page.] And,
2. To point out that whether we are driven (and potentially destroyed by being run over) or whether we are drawn (and potentially destroyed by being dragged), I am fascinated with the idea that a true vision, mission, purpose from God can provide a powerful motivational force--a kind of "engine," if you will--to help us stay on track.

Now. Having said all that, I think Kjos' (biblically-based) terminology--Spirit-led--provides a significant caution. God can lead us in different directions at different times in our lives. And we must remain open to His leading. If our gaze becomes too fixed on a particular vision, mission or "purpose," we could very easily wind up at the wrong destination. We need to maintain our focus on God above and beyond any focus we place on personal purpose, mission, vision, etc.

A tough task!

A letter to my family: About living strategically . . .

Yes, the following is a direct quote. It took me a few days to decide how much of it (if any) I should post online. I'm comfortable . . .

I spent an hour and a half or two hours talking with a banker [last] Friday morning. Dan specializes in helping families work through discussions about subjects like those I have been writing about in my blog.

He urged me (and us) to think and talk through our personal, individual vision and mission statements. We--each of us--need to know what we, individually, are about before we can legitimately and reasonably begin to form broader family mission and vision statements.

Among the questions he suggested we ought to consider:

• What are my key or highest values? What things are most valuable to me?

(By way of example, for me, let me note that I would list: integrity (think of the title of my book!); honesty (almost the same as integrity!); openness; good communication (notice a pattern?!?); bringing people together through good communication; inquiry; inquisitiveness; learning. . . .)

• What would it mean for me to be "effective" or "successful" in LIFE?

This, of course, has to do with more--far more--than "money." I think it has to do with what I would want people to remember me for when I die.

I think of the yacht we saw in Boca Raton a couple of weeks ago: the "Golden Rule." Beautiful boat. Cost multi-millions, of course. Has a crew that sit and tend and coddle it. (We saw them polishing it.) Beautiful! . . . And it probably sits docked 48 of 52 weeks a year . . . or more. Totally for show.

But before I got thinking about all those things and realizing the realities behind the boat, my first thought, when I saw its name was, "'Golden Rule'! 'Golden Rule'! That's great! You [owner, whoever you are] believe in the Golden Rule!?!" --Truly. There was great joy in my heart.

I had to think a moment to remember what "The Golden Rule" is all about: "Do unto others as you would . . . "

That's when it hit me: "Now, wait a minute! . . . I'll bet you [owner] don't mean 'Do unto others . . .'! I'll bet you're referring to that 'other' 'Golden Rule': 'Them's that's got the gold sets the rules.' . . . Oh, how funny. [bitter] How foolish and futile. . . ."

So this owner--whoever he or she is (or they are)-- . . . this owner owns this magnificent yacht, the biggest one in the marina. And when s/he dies: will anyone care? Is that--owning the biggest, most magnificent yacht--what s/he wants to be remembered for?

That's not what I want to be remembered for.

But what do I want to be remembered for?

I haven't ever really thought that through!

I want to think that through. And I want you, as my heirs, part of my "legacy," to think that through, too. So you (and I!) can be very purposeful in our lives, successful . . . whatever "successful" means.

Before God, what do we believe success looks like? For us? Individually?

I'd like us to think and talk about it.

Dan suggested that we should each write a paragraph or two (or the equivalent in simple bullet points). Just to get started.

Though it wasn’t Dan who urged me to blog about these things, in essence, my blog, recently, has included stuff--a very concise summary of 14 values, for instance, plus a whole lot of musings on the broader subject--that I think may help me to write my purpose or mission statement.

*******

One other thought that may help us.

I think we (or at least I) always want to create a "final" document. But I don't think we should approach this project with such a thought in mind. If we have written such a document and we happen to die before we revise it, then, obviously, that will prove to have been a "final document." . . . But as long as we keep living, this purpose statement/mission statement doesn't have to be . . . indeed, it almost certainly ought not to be a "final document."

And I say all that partially (I hope) to free you from the feeling that you must make some kind of perfect, final, absolute, never-to-be-varied statement.

I don't think so.

I think Luke once wrote a mission/vision statement. That was back between his junior and senior years in high school. It might be interesting for him to share with the rest of us what he wrote . . . and then to see how he might alter it today.

My main purpose, here--for you as well as (and maybe primarily) for me--is to get us to live more strategically or, perhaps better, as strategically as possible.

Okay. Enough.

Love,

Dad

Integrating one's mission

More on Better World Books . . .

Not sure why I followed this particular path, but . . .

I went to the Better World Books blog. Nothing special. So I checked out their archives: "Hmm. The blog hasn't been around long. . . . I wonder what they say in their first post?" So I clicked on the link to July 2006.

First post, at the top of the page (obviously last post for July):

Books for Africa Shipment

A message from David Murphy, our CEO:

Just wanted to share with you all that we shipped three full truckloads of books from our warehouse to the Books for Africa warehouse between July 12th and July 17th. . . . a total of about 58,460 books! We are building another truckload as I write this and we will have additional book inventory going to BFA post-Rush. . . .

Whoa! I thought: "These guys are really serious about their mission. . . ."

Got down a few more posts. It's an interview with John Wood, founder of one of the non-profits Better World Books supports. By this point, I realize, I'm getting about three levels "deep" in integrated mission. (Better World Books (level 1) is blogging John Wood of Room to Read (level 2) and I, John Holzmann (level 3?), am seeing lessons and takeaways and insights (level 4?) from what Wood is saying. . . .)

• First insight: Wood maintains an unshakeable, laser-sharp focus on his goal. The interviewer asks skeptical questions. Wood answers, and yet, in a way . . . he doesn't, really. Does he? But he sure gets his message out! [Note to self: Learn from Wood's example!]:
  
  

  Q: You’re one of several Microsoft entrepreneurs who seem eager to live out some fantasy of saving the world. As the founder of Room to Read, do you really believe you can personally “educate the world’s children,” as the subtitle of your forthcoming book, “Leaving Microsoft to Change the World,” proclaims?

  We’re trying to open libraries and schools, mostly for kids K to 5, in the developing world at a pace that emulates Starbucks’. With 850 million illiterate people in the world, we need the nonprofit sector to scale rapidly.

  But can libraries open as quickly as coffee bars?

  In the past six years, we have established 2,500 libraries and 210 schools in Nepal, Cambodia, Sri Lanka and elsewhere. Our model allows us to build a school with running water and toilets and a library for $12,000 in Nepal. We can do a school in Vietnam for about $15,000.

• From what I can tell, it is Wood who notes, "When Apple Computer was seeking its first outside CEO, Apple's chairman Steve Jobs recruited John Sculley from Pepsi by asking him, 'Do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life, or do you want to change the world?'" --Wow! Talk about powerful! --Reminds me of our second daughter who, during her last semester at art school, was working for an advertising firm that does the campaigns for one of the major chocolate companies. "I want to do something significant," she said. "I don't want to spend my life selling chocolate. . . ." --So she is working for an ad agency that specializes in serving non-profits.
• It appears to be the Better World Books blogger, Fritz (though, possibly, the New York Times Magazine interviewer who wrote the article from which Fritz quoted), who comments: "Twenty years later John Wood, leaving Microsoft for Room to Read, demonstrates changing the world isn't iPods and Outlook Express, but educating the world's children." --Another strong mission-oriented statement.

"Well," I say to myself. "What I have read of and from Better World Books is all well and good. But it is relatively easy to talk. . . . My question is: What are they really all about? Is this a ploy to work off potential purchasers' emotions? . . . Who are these guys (Better World Books), anyway? --I mean, really."

Ahh! A link at the bottom of the page: About Us. I click . . .

I'm shocked. Another integrated mission statement:

Our story began with the dream of three college friends who formed a social venture, a business with the mission to promote literacy. A single book drive at one university has grown into a nationwide effort with thousands of people involved, all looking to improve the quality of life for people through literacy.

We believe that literacy gives people water to drink, imparts knowledge to eliminate disease, and develops self-esteem that enables people to make their mark on the world.

Our story has taken us to places we had never seen. Our dream is to continue to work for those whom we have never met.

There's actually nothing about the people who work there, the people who started Better World Books. (The page does include a photo of the three guys who started the company, and a caption underneath that lists their names.) But the page is about Better World Books itself. [Note to self: Better check your company's "About Us" webpages! . . . Makes sense, doesn't it: "About Us" should be about the company. . . . But . . . ]

I am becoming more and more impressed: there is such integration among all the pages I have seen. Such focus. Talk about brand identity! . . .

But still. I really would like to learn about the founders. So where do I find out about them? Who are they? What are they all about? Is their commitment real? Or (I'm becoming more and more skeptical of my skepticism) are they poseurs?

Ah! Another link: Our History.

Interesting. (I won't reproduce it here. It really is interesting.) But the "history" concludes:

Today, Better World Books continues to be the leader in converting donated books into funding that supports world literacy efforts. In addition to its college and university textbook drives, Better World Books now works with libraries and other book sources with the goal of promoting literacy. The Better World Books team looks forward to the promise of the future and to continued growth and success with the help of its partners.

Sounds all nice and warm and fuzzy. But . . . wait. Really. Truly. Bottom line: How much do they really donate to the causes for which they speak so proudly?

Ah! Another link: BWB By the Numbers.

Since our inception in 2003 to September 2006, we have:

• Been active in collecting books from over 900 colleges and universities and over 500 libraries in North America
• Saved more than 5 million pounds of books from landfills
• Raised more than $1.3M for approximately 70 non-profits focused on literacy and education; specifically:
  • Raised more than $900,000 for Books For Africa
  • Raised more than $150,000 for Room to Read
  • Raised more than $80,000 for the National Center for Family Literacy
  • Raised more than $50,000 locally for the Robinson Community Learning Center
• Donated more than 450,000 books to Books for Africa and The National Center for Family Literacy
• Contributed more than $475,000 to college and university service clubs and volunteers who have run book drives for BWB.

I'm satisfied. And I'm left wondering: . . . How should we apply this integrated vision and mission to our company? Can we . . . No. How can we integrate our mission and vision more thoroughly into all our company's communication? How can we state so concisely and precisely and consistently what we're all about?

I sense I have a lot of thinking and praying and writing to do. . . .

A purpose/mission-driven business

I ordered a used book online using one of the large used book search engines that puts you in touch with the smaller book stores who actually fulfill your order. For the book I wanted, Better World Books happened to offer the best price/quality ratio. So I placed my order.

Next thing I knew, I received an email from them that led like this:

Dear John:

Thank you for your recent book purchase from Better World Books!

Better World Books utilizes the value of the book to fund literacy initiatives locally, nationally and around the world. Please know that your purchase will help us in our efforts to promote and support our literacy partners and their initiatives. Your purchase will provide much needed funding that is instrumental to the efforts of those whose passion it is to provide the world's least fortunate with the opportunities that literacy affords.

We have received your order . . .

First thing that impressed me: their vision. --It seems to accord so well with at least a part of mine. (See also items #6 and 12 in Personal Legacy: Vision and Values.)

But the second thing: How inspiring! How energizing to have that vision, value and purpose statement hanging out there, right in front, on everything they do . . . even on their order acknowledgement letter!

Bravo!

So how do we apply that in our company?

Debt, Purpose, Joy and Giving

Back to my conversation with Jim.

At one point we were talking about a class our church was about to sponsor intended to help members handle their finances more wisely.

Jim said something like, "John, you are in a unique position in the church in your ability to give. Most people don't have funds that they can set aside for giving. They are so far in debt . . . "

"Why are they in debt?" I asked.

There are lots of reasons people fall into debt. Many are beyond their control.

Yet I think one great reason is because they have never thought of their purpose. They can't think beyond themselves: "What's in it for me?" "What will please me?" . . . So every time they see something that they think will give them pleasure [see, for example, my post on the Tesla car], they go out and buy it. Then they get into debt.

I wish people were challenged with the bigger picture of what God is doing around the world! Kind of like the way St. Paul talks about stealing. We normally contrast stealing and not stealing. He actually contrasts stealing and giving--you're either involved in positive contributions to the world around you, or you're involved, it seems, in taking from the world. But you're never neutral. Apparently.

Let him who steals steal no longer; but rather let him labor, performing with his own hands what is good, in order that he may have something to share with him who has need. (Ephesians 4:28; NASB)

--It is so striking to me: all the subjects I have been writing about recently are so intimately intertwined: purpose, joy, giving, our ability to give . . .

Purpose in life

Something struck me at the Wycliffe Associates meeting. Before I get to the specific item, let me talk demographics. Because what I want to mention is surprising as a result of the demographics.

In the room of about 150 people, Sarita and I weren't quite the youngest. Quite. We had to hunt around a bit. Ignoring the Wycliffe Associates staff, there were a few younger people. Maybe five. (???) One woman was significantly younger than anyone else; it appeared she was there as the guest of her mother. I think she said she was 23. The few others who were younger than us appeared to be in their 40s. Then there was us, in our low 50s. And then everyone else. There were a smattering of people in their mid- to upper-50s and low-60s (maybe 10 or 20 (???)), and then the majority: upper 60s, 70s, 80s . . . and even one man who celebrated his birthday while we were there: 96!

The Mission India supporters we met the weekend before were, on average, significantly younger. It was a similar-sized group, but there were easily 10 younger women [mostly] and men in their 30s and 40s, then, I'd guess, another 30 or 40 of us in our 50s--just at the "empty nester" point in our lives--and the majority in their 60s and 70s. I know there were a few who were older than that. But--appearances only--I'd say the average age of the people who were present at Mission India's meeting was a good 10 years lower than the average age of those at Wycliffe Associates.

But it wasn't the age-range alone that hit me. It was the people's countenances. Especially the faces of the people at the Wycliffe Associates' meeting. They glowed. They beamed. These were (are, I'm sure!) happy people.

And I had no trouble figuring out why!

They were purposeful. Most of them--I'm sure it was a majority; maybe only a bit over 50%, but it was definitely over half of them-- . . . Most of them had been somewhere and done something in the last couple of years as members of Wycliffe Associates. They had built some buildings, taught some children, helped in the mailroom somewhere, offered assistance where it was necessary in order to aid in the bigger task of translating the Bible for the 380 million-some people around the world who do not have a shred of Scripture in their own language, and the much larger number (approximately a billion) who don't have a complete New Testament.

So they were purposeful. They were outward looking. They had more for which to live than meeting their own needs--or desires--and filling their own bellies.

And that outward look, that purposefulness, that reason for living gave a real, noticeable spring in their steps and joy in their faces.

Unmistakable. And what a pleasure to be around!