Taking Inventory of Your Life

A post I just posted over on Strategic Inheritance: Taking Inventory of Your Life.

I thought it worthy of noting here on my personal blog.

Legacy Planning: Family Meeting Revisited

I listed my values (as brought up through this legacy planning process); I also quoted our "final" (actually, preliminary, first-draft-final) "Family Vision" statement as hammered out with the kids. I thought it might be interesting to look back on the "Family Vision" statement Sarita and I came up with (with a lot of help primarily from Terry Hunt) back on March 12th, and then, a list of the values (M's and L's!) of other family members (besides myself) that led up to our joint (all 6 of us) "Family Vision." I think it's interesting how and where various members' values coalesced and separated. . . .

So. Family Vision Statement as Sarita and I were able to state it on March 12th:

We, the Holzmanns, strive to live as a family iwth a purposeful and focused Christian culture. We value education and work that inspires the passion and skills for each person to pursue his or her Christian calling. We aspire to family harmony, consensual decision-making, and living life with integrity, balancing positive action, such as philanthropy, business decisions and intervention, with reflective prayer.

Honestly: I look at that satement and compare it with what we as a complete family unit came up with on March 31st, and I like our full family statement much better.

(Something else I should probably note: While Terry's influence was probably too great on March 12th [I think some of the slightly "strange" language came from his attempts to summarize what he thought he was hearing us say], when it came time for us as a family to come up with our statement, Terry had little if any influence. We really "did it on our own." Except--and this is why I mention it here--I want to acknowledge that I don't think we could have come up with such a statement on our own. What I mean is: We needed Terry and Greg--someone--to take us through the process. Even if we had fully understood the process, I don't think we could have done it on our own. The dynamics were different. We were able to speak with one another a bit more freely, I think . . . just because we had someone else lead us. If I had tried to lead the conversation, I sense, somehow, we wouldn't have been able to be quite so open . . . or something.)

Anyway.

And then for the other family members' values.

I won't reveal who said what. But I want, simply, to demonstrate both a lot of the commonalities and the differences.

Person	Most	Least
1	Relations w/ Family	Achievement
	Relations w/ Friends	Social Status
	Relations w/ God	Adventure
	Make a Difference	Career
	Approval	Generosity
2	Make a Difference	Passion
	Approval	Education
	Achievement	Social Status
	Frugality	Adventure
	Intelligence	Career
3	Relations w/ Family	Adventure
	Relations w/ God	Social Status
	Education	Loyalty
	Health	Passion
	Make a Difference/Generosity	Acceptance
4	Relations w/ Friends	Relations w/ God
	Happiness	Passion
	Acceptance	Spirituality
	Achievement	Security (Job)
	Intelligence	Frugality

Yes. We obviously have some . . . diversity within our family! And I'm not wholly comfortable with all of it. We had a few places in which different members challenged each other and questioned how we could possibly move forward under the circumstances. . . .

I will be curious to see how all of these things continue to work themselves out in the future!

Legacy Planning: What makes us Holzmanns? What are we all about? What do we want to stand for?

For me, the highlight of our first family legacy planning meeting came relatively late in the day but just before we hammered out a consensus vision statement.

We had all talked a bit about our top values (both "Most" and "Least"). I don't know that anyone felt that was particularly revelatory. Interesting. But only mildly so.

What blew me away was the next question we talked about (this was not in the Legacy Planning book): "Define what it means to be a 'Holzmann.' What defines you as compared to those around you?"

Whew! What would the kids say? Sarita and I had an opportunity to jump in on this as well, but we let the kids have their say first . . . and I was blown away. I had no idea what they would say. And I was shocked . . . and pleased . . . by their answers.

They seemed to agree unanimously: We are . . .

• Happier
• Healthier ("Not damaged")

We have . . .

• Great Relationships ("We get along well one with another")

We are . . .

• Complete/Whole ("We have unity")
• Learners/Seekers after Truth

We . . .

• Constantly Challenge "accepted norms"
• Spur others on ("Iron sharpening iron"--Proverbs 27:17)
• Constantly Seek "bigger/better"
• Talk things out, seek to come to consensus

We have a culture of . . .

• Inquiry
• Help/Aid/Assistance
• Trustworthiness
• "Do it a minute" (just get it done . . . quickly)

Our top values include . . .

• Education
• [Religion] Follow God
• Integrity

Funny . . . or maybe not: Sarita wanted to urge that we live lives of Order and Structure.

She met with some resistance. Not because we don't value those things or don't, perhaps, "wish we could." But several of us objected. "That is, most definitely, a huge value for you [Mom, Sarita], but ummmm . . . I'm not sure I can honestly say that's the way I live!"

I felt compelled to acknowledge what a blessing Sarita has been to all of us by providing that structure and order for us. But when she dies . . . I'm afraid that structure and order is going to die with her. We [whoever survives her] will feel that loss keenly. But . . . the rest of us, I'm afraid, don't necessarily hold that value nor live our lives with the kind of structure and order she does. . . .

Whew!******Oh!

Having come to this astonishing consensus about "who we are" and "what we value," Greg and Terry asked us to draft what we thought a vision statement for our family might look like.

We took maybe 10 minutes to draft our own versions. Then we wrote them up on large sheets of paper and hung them around the room. . . . And then set about to come to a consensus statement.

What an amazing process!

Our final statement (for Saturday, March 31st! --It is subject, of course, to revision):

We, the Holzmann family, understand that what we have been given allows us to personally and corporately influence others worldwide. Therefore, we seek to change our world--with God's help and for His glory--by training and equipping others to most effectively fulfill their God-given purposes.

We aspire to family harmony, consensual decion-making, and living life with integrity, prayer, and purposeful action.

Wow! I'm looking forward to future meetings. We have agreed to meet again the week after Justin returns from college in mid- to late May. We want to discuss the family "business": where are we financially? What resources do we have as a family . . . to impact the world . . . and to help each other?

Legacy Planning: Questions, Part 2

I don't intend to copy many more of the questions from the Legacy Planning book. But I understand this question will become key to our planning:

From the following list of values and virtues, mark the 5 MOST important to you with an "M" and the 5 LEAST important to you with an "L."

Acceptance	Intimacy
Accomplishments/Results	Joy
Adventure/Excitement	Leadership
Approval	Loyalty
Aesthetics/Beauty	Making a Difference
Autonomy	Mastery/Excellence
Career	Mental Intelligence
Commitment	Openness
Community	Partnership
Completion	Passion
Connecting/Bonding	Physical Health
Creativity	Personal Power
Education	Privacy
Emotional Health	Recognition/Acknowledgement
Environment	Relationship w/ Family
Financial Security	Relationship w/ Friends
Freedom	Relationship w/ God/Higher Power
Frugality	Service/Contribution
Fun	Solitude
Generosity	Spirituality
Happinesss	Trust
Honesty	Vitality
Humor	__________
Influence	__________
Integrity	__________

My "M's" included

• Making a Difference
• Openness
• Passion
• Relationship w/ God

and

• Integrity.

My "L's":

• Approval
• Recognition/Acknowledgement
• Financial Security . . .

and then, without quite such confidence in the "correctness" of my answers:

• Solitude

and

• Personal Power.

I'll be curious to see how these answers work themselves out into a Family Vision Statement! (????!!!!)

Legacy Planning: Questions, Part 1

So Sarita and I are working through this legacy planning process.

Our advisor gave us a 20-page booklet full of questions for us to answer. Some are relatively easy. But many are thought-provoking, and some cause me consternation.

I'd like to share some of the questions with you. I hope they inspire you as they have me. . . .

The questionnaire begins with "Childhood Reflections":

• Where do you fit in your family's birth order?
• Did you have your own money as a child?
• If "Yes," how did you acquire it?
• When you were growing up, who controlled the money in your household?
• As a child, what lessons did you learn about money . . . and from whom?
• What was your family's money motto?
• Name your family's greatest priorities.
• What do you think of those priorities today?
• Name what was least important to your family of origin.

There are a bunch more questions. But these--especially the fourth and following questions I've listed here--got me reminiscing pretty fiercely! And for some of the questions, I'm not sure if I'm remembering accurately or fairly.

But here's what I wrote in answer to the questions:

• Where do you fit in your family's birth order? --2nd
• Did you have your own money as a child? --Yes
• If "Yes," how did you acquire it? --Worked for it
• When you were growing up, who controlled the money in your household? --Dad (for family) . . . and me (for myself) . . . though mom made purchasing decisions within limits.
• As a child, what lessons did you learn about money . . . and from whom? --Parents: It's scarce; hard to come by; be frugal; live cheaply. Me: Money is (relatively) easy to come by if you'll work for it. It's not worth fretting over.
• What was your family's money motto? --I can't remember any real "motto" . . . unless it was the regular refrain: "We can't afford it." . . . So I guess that was "our" motto.
• Name your family's greatest priorities. -- a) Education. b) Following Jesus
• What do you think of those priorities today? --I "buy" them still, today.
• Name what was least important to your family of origin. --???

Interesting: We got talking with a couple of our kids and their spouses about "family money motto" question.

Our son and daughter--two years apart in age--"remember" very different "mottoes" even though they agreed they had not actually heard any of the "guiding words" or thoughts from us directly.

Our son-in-law confessed some anger or resentment or some such toward his parents because they had always been--or, at least, acted as if they were--so poor. . . . But as we discussed his family's living situation, it suddenly dawned on him that they had been "poor" because his parents were paying to send him and his siblings to a private Christian school! . . . And that led us all to ruminate on how parents might serve themselves and their children well if they would take the time and effort to "sell" their kids on their (the parents') values and priorities.

This particular son-in-law's parents, apparently, failed to "market" their vision to their kids . . . and, apparently, inadvertently permitted a root of bitterness to grow. . . .

Personal Legacy: Vision and Values

What values and experiences inform our giving decisions?

1. We believe we are called, first, to advance God's Kingdom and Glory among the nations of the world. (Matthew 6:33)
2. It is our understanding that there exist Unreached Peoples—peoples or "ethnic" groups among which there is no indigenous community of believing Christians with adequate numbers and resources to evangelize the group.
3. It is our understanding that approximately 40% of the world's population lives within such groups.
4. It is our understanding that an estimated 96% to 97% of all Christian charitable contributions in the United States are directed toward ministries within the United States and only 3% to 4% is left for the rest of the world; 99% of all "missionaries" work among "Reached" peoples; barely 1% of all "missionaries" are assigned to work among Unreached Peoples. . . ) . . .
5. Our understanding of these realities leads us to seek to invest in the under-funded, least-reached portion of the world.
6. For whatever reason--though we expect it is probably due to our involvement in education--we are highly oriented toward ministries that have to do with literacy, literature, and reading.
7. We believe we ought to focus our giving, rather than scatter it broadly. At this point, therefore, we have determined to focus on just a few ministries that focus specifically on the five largest blocs of Unreached Peoples--the Tribals, Hindus, Unreached Chinese, Muslims and Buddhists (THUMB as an acronym).
8. As former staff members of the U.S. Center for World Mission and now as businesspeople, we recognize that there are many unromantic, unemotionally-compelling, yet absolutely necessary "back-office," logistical and infrastructural tasks that need to be fulfilled if the more exciting front-lines tasks are to be completed successfully. We are willing to support these "back-lines" efforts.
9. We are not inclined to support efforts to build "mission station" kinds of facilities: school buildings, hospitals, houses and church buildings.
10. We are, similarly, not inclined to support "relief and development" efforts that leave recipients in dependent conditions.
11. Emergency disaster relief: all right--if combined with spiritual ministry.
12. Literacy and numeracy education that leaves the recipient better able to care for him or herself: great.
13. Microloan types of financial assistance where a person is able to attain independence: wonderful. However,
14. We always want to be doing the things that are underfunded and less likely to be supported by others. Therefore, right now, while "the world" is enchanted with the microloan strategy for development, we are disinclined to participate . . . simply because "everyone else" is doing it and we think we ought to do what is more obscure.

Vision for a Personal Legacy: Introduction

What I want to write here actually comes as a result of discussions with Sarita that have followed our Mission India meeting, reading Alan Gotthardt's The Eternity Portfolio, Ron Blue's Splitting Heirs: Giving Your Money and Things to Your children Without Ruining Their Lives, talking with our CPA and estate planning attorney, our primary investment advisor, and a "Legacy Planner."

In our business, we have written Values, Vision, Mission, Goal, Strategy and Tactic statements. But in our personal lives, we have never done such a thing. So what are our values, vision, mission, etc., when it comes to what God has placed in our hands? We finally began talking about it last night.

—Details to follow . . .