Legacy Planning: Questions, Part 1

So Sarita and I are working through this legacy planning process.

Our advisor gave us a 20-page booklet full of questions for us to answer. Some are relatively easy. But many are thought-provoking, and some cause me consternation.

I'd like to share some of the questions with you. I hope they inspire you as they have me. . . .

The questionnaire begins with "Childhood Reflections":

• Where do you fit in your family's birth order?
• Did you have your own money as a child?
• If "Yes," how did you acquire it?
• When you were growing up, who controlled the money in your household?
• As a child, what lessons did you learn about money . . . and from whom?
• What was your family's money motto?
• Name your family's greatest priorities.
• What do you think of those priorities today?
• Name what was least important to your family of origin.

There are a bunch more questions. But these--especially the fourth and following questions I've listed here--got me reminiscing pretty fiercely! And for some of the questions, I'm not sure if I'm remembering accurately or fairly.

But here's what I wrote in answer to the questions:

• Where do you fit in your family's birth order? --2nd
• Did you have your own money as a child? --Yes
• If "Yes," how did you acquire it? --Worked for it
• When you were growing up, who controlled the money in your household? --Dad (for family) . . . and me (for myself) . . . though mom made purchasing decisions within limits.
• As a child, what lessons did you learn about money . . . and from whom? --Parents: It's scarce; hard to come by; be frugal; live cheaply. Me: Money is (relatively) easy to come by if you'll work for it. It's not worth fretting over.
• What was your family's money motto? --I can't remember any real "motto" . . . unless it was the regular refrain: "We can't afford it." . . . So I guess that was "our" motto.
• Name your family's greatest priorities. -- a) Education. b) Following Jesus
• What do you think of those priorities today? --I "buy" them still, today.
• Name what was least important to your family of origin. --???

Interesting: We got talking with a couple of our kids and their spouses about "family money motto" question.

Our son and daughter--two years apart in age--"remember" very different "mottoes" even though they agreed they had not actually heard any of the "guiding words" or thoughts from us directly.

Our son-in-law confessed some anger or resentment or some such toward his parents because they had always been--or, at least, acted as if they were--so poor. . . . But as we discussed his family's living situation, it suddenly dawned on him that they had been "poor" because his parents were paying to send him and his siblings to a private Christian school! . . . And that led us all to ruminate on how parents might serve themselves and their children well if they would take the time and effort to "sell" their kids on their (the parents') values and priorities.

This particular son-in-law's parents, apparently, failed to "market" their vision to their kids . . . and, apparently, inadvertently permitted a root of bitterness to grow. . . .