Amazing Argentinian "New Coke" Ad

So many brief--sometimes not even quite a full second long--moments in the lives of parents. I had to watch portions several times over. The dad's expressions beginning at 0:40 totally blow me away. How did he ever capture so many emotions in such a brief few seconds? I was sure it was horror . . . and then . . . --I'd better not give it away. And then to watch how his mouth is shaped and the sound of the music . . . !!!

It's exquisitely produced. Unbelievable. And what great acting.

Well worth the 60 seconds it takes to watch it the first time. And maybe a second and third 60 seconds as well. . . .

And the commentary by the creators is well worth reading, too:

This New Coke Ad Totally Captures The Reality Of Early Parenthood | Co.Create | creativity + culture + commerce

For my military friends . . .

I'm astonished this hasn't received more attention. I saw it in the December edition of Reader's Digest . . . which has been out for probably a month. But the author, Lori Volkman, has received only 39 comments at the time I write this.

Volkman is a military wife. Her husband is a commander in the Navy. Her deployed husband was scheduled to return home sometime in the next 30 to 90 days and his response to an email she had sent him caused her to have "PTSD flash-backs of R&R"--i.e., Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder flashback about Rest & Relaxation. --Not a pretty sight. She has definitely seen it in the past.

So, she said, "I did what any girl would do. I issued an OPORD [Operation Order]."

SBU – Sensitive But Unclassified

Copy 1 of 1
Issuing HQ: CIVHOMGRU WEST
LAT 45° 31′ 24N, LONG 122° 40′ 34W

 

OPERATION ORDER “PULL CHOCKS”

 I. SITUATION

 Civilian Home Group, West (CIVHOMGRU) has recently identified threat MILBRAIN, a condition which hinders communication and family reintegration, and which requires immediate and ongoing resolution. Current unit is composed of civilian leader MOM, two rogue operatives, and DAD. DAD is oncoming commander at expiration of MOM’s current tour of duty, scheduled for Change of Command in 30 – 90 days.

 A. Enemy Forces. Known and suspected causes of condition MILBRAIN include severe indoctrination of DAD into military life at round-the-clock intervals, complicated by heightened need for compartmentalization and deadening of emotional receptors. The indoctrination includes extreme armored, mechanized, and motorized emotional-blocking responses which appear to be temporarily incapable of destruction. Intel on effective methods for piercing the indoctrination barrier is weak, at best. Strength of the enemy’s fortification is at highest levels known throughout MOB 2010-11, and morale at CIVHOMGRU is consequently low. However, resiliency and capability of both the operatives and Commander MOM are high.

 B. Friendly Forces. Prime objective is to ensure DAD can identify CIVHOMGRU as a friendly force, not an enemy force, by engaging them both physically and emotionally.  However, if treated as an enemy force, CIVHOMGRU can become unstable, and is likely to fire upon, maim, kill, and take prisoners in its defense.

II. MISSION

PREPARE FOR REINTEGRATION OF DAD INTO CIVHOMGRU BY (1) DISINTEGRATION OF MILBRAIN; (2) INTRODUCTION OF COUNTER-COMPONENTS DADBRAIN AND HUSBANDBRAIN; (3) REINTRODUCTION OF CONCEPT “FEEL”; AND (4) SUPPRESSION OF DICTATORIAL HIERARCHY, OLIGARCHY, AND MISOGYNY. ACCOMPLISH NLT HOMECOMING 2011, WITH GOAL OF FOSTERING MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH OF THE FAMILY UNIT AND AVOIDING ANY FURTHER LOSS OF SPOUSAL CONSORTIUM.

III. EXECUTION

A. Concept of the Operation.  Faced with challenges to familial and spousal security interests after a long mobilization and separation, there are certain effects-based actions and responses which members of the team can employ to connect their differing strategic and operational objectives. Through the integrated application of select instruments of power, DAD will become capable of identifying desired and undesired outcomes in the CIVHOMGRU operational environment (OE). It is the intent of OPERATION PULL CHOCKS to separately prepare all members of the team for the next operational phase, tentatively identified as OPERATION REINTEGRATION.

1. Maneuver: Prepare to Interact

MOM, Operative-1^st Born and Operative-2^nd Born will each practice elimination of all expectations related to basic everyday interactions. This will be accomplished by standing in front of a brick wall and attempting to engage it in conversation, elicit sympathy and/or compassion, and attempting to get it to respond to external stimuli, touch, and/or tears.

DAD will increase situational awareness of social and nonverbal communications of others. This will be accomplished by standing in front of a mirror, making eye contact, and replacing common MOB phrases with HOME phrases:

MOB PHRASE	HOME PHRASE
“IT IS WHAT IT IS” and/or“LIFE’S A BITCH”	I’m sorry. There’s not much I can say about that. Is there anything I can do to help you?
“MINDOVERMATTER”	I’m right there with you. Let’s get through this together.
“WILCO/LIMACHARLIE”	I understand what you’re saying. Do you want my input?

2. Maneuver: Prepare to Respond

MOM, Operative-1^st Born and Operative-2^nd Born will each take turns yelling barking orders at each other. The non-barking members will practice a response that does not include crying. Upon successful containment of tears, team members will also attempt to respond by not feeling insecure, not becoming scared, not becoming angry, and finally by responding with a sarcastic, “YESSIR!” followed by an immediate hug for the barker, who may respond with an awkward back or head pat.

DAD will relearn proper human responses that engender connection and genuine relationship. This will be accomplished by standing in front of a mirror, making eye contact, and performing the following facial-neutral or facial-friendly maneuvers in 15 second intervals:

Smile

Raise eyebrows

Open mouth and tip head to one side

Blink

Upon completion of these basic maneuvers, DAD should progress to more advanced maneuvers such as SMIRK and WINK, the “HUBBA-HUBBA” (two successive eyebrow raises), and NODDING.

IV. SERVICE SUPPORT

A. General. The critical supporting actors and services required to sustain the unit during this operation include:

- Chaplain/Exit Counselor/Successful Mob Retirees

- DAD’s emotive alter-ego which has been suppressed for the last year

- MOM’s non-controlling alter-ego which has been suppressed for the last year

- Operative #1 and Operative #2’s obedient alter-egos which have been suppressed for the last year

B. Material and Services.  Upon reentry to the CIVHOMGRU OE, DAD will find more relevant materials and services available for use than his previous OE. Such services and materials should be considered for future maneuvers DATE and WOO, and include:

1.    Class I (subsistence): Fine Dining establishments, wine bars, candlelight or sunset/view venues.

2.    Class II (individual equipment): razor, aftershave, deodorant, mouthwash, elbow crème, and civilian clothing.

3.    Class VII (major end items): flowers, jewelry, chocolate, hand-written notes or cards, and perfume.

In preparation for such availability of services, DAD may spend time on the internet reviewing what these items look like, how they are utilized, and where they can be obtained upon delivery to the assembly point.

C. Medical Evacuation.  In the event the operation produces wounded personnel, they will be picked up and carried to safety by all remaining non-injured team members. No man, woman, or child shall be left behind.

V. COMMAND AND CONTROL

Because of the continuing mobilization of DAD, there will be two primary locations of command and control prior to OPERATION REINTEGRATION. CCC#1 shall be at home, and CCC#2 shall be at the location of mobilization. The unit commanders are expected to operate in a JOINT ENVIRONMENT for all theater, operational, and tactical maneuvers, and to balance the COG for the split CCC’s.

A. Command. The higher unit commander is GOD. If you suffer from the delusion that you are GOD, then knock it off. You are not. Your spouse and children are not subordinates, they are your support. They will not respond desirably to orders unless delivered in the methods described in this OPORD and the BHICCFG (Basic Human Interaction and Common Courtesy Field Guide).

B. Signals. This operation specifically prohibits use of the following signals: silence, thousand mile stare, dirty looks, shark-eyes, loss of consciousness during conversation, and drama (aka “pyrotechnics”) of any kind. Challenges and corresponding passwords to verify operations behind both friendly and enemy lines include:

 

Challenge Phrase	Password Response
Daddy?	Yes, what is it?
Good morning	Good morning
Good night	Good night
How Do I Look?	Amazing. Breathtaking. Phenomenal.
Will you take me out?	Yes, I’d love to
I missed you	I missed you, too
I’m so glad you’re here	I’m glad that I’m here, too
I love you	I love you, too

* * *

Acknowledge.

/s/

_____________________________________

MOM, COMMANDER, CIVHOMGRU WEST

Volkman follows her post with this encouragement:

Now you can get a copy of your free, generic, downloadable, printable, emailable OPORD TO MY DEPLOYED HUSBAND all for yourself. Makes a great addition to your late-deployment care packages or as an ice-breaker at spouse meetings. You must be able to view pdf files. And please, attribute and link back here at Witty Little Secret if you repost it somewhere! Thanks!

You can find the PDF here.

If you enjoyed this post, I think you'll find her blog as a whole a great joy.

A Great Teacher

I just read a wonderful book, Tuesdays With Morrie. It's the moving story of a 37-year-old man who reconnects with his most significant professor from college . . . at the very moment that the professor is dying from ALS--Lou Gehrig's Disease. They spend 14 Tuesdays together discussing the most important issues of life.

Something about the book makes me think, with joy, of my relationship with my children. And it makes me think, too, with sadness, about my relationship with my father.

I love the book's final lines. They affirm to me why no parent should ever not want to homeschool.

. . . Okay. Forgive me. Let me put that positively.

The final lines affirm to me why all parents should want to homeschool their children . . . and why I feel the pleasure of continuing in relationship with my children now that they are all "out of the house" and forging ahead with their own lives . . . yet my wife and I are still involved with them. What a privilege!

Have you ever really had a teacher? One who saw you as a raw but precious thing, a jewel that, with wisdom, could be polished to a proud shine? If you are lucky enough to find your way to such teachers, you will always find your way back. Sometimes it is only in your head. Sometimes it is right alongside their beds.

The last class of my old professor’s life took place once a week, in his home, by a window in his study where he could watch a small hibiscus plant shed its pink flowers. The class met on Tuesdays. No books were required. The subject was the meaning of life. It was taught from experience.

The teaching goes on.

Legacy Planning: Family Meeting

Well, we continue our legacy planning. Sarita and I had a meeting three weeks ago with Greg Smith and a guy named Terry Hunt. Terry, it turns out, is a fourth-generation heir of a very large family fortune. He turned my mind a bit--or, actually, a lot--concerning the idea of "giving everything away" as much as possible (rather than possibly passing a [financial] legacy along to our kids).

In essence, he argued for the idea that money in a future generation's hands can be used for good. And we should encourage them to use it for good.

Perhaps the most inspiring comment had to do with enabling our kids to do significant work whether or not they were paid decent wages to do it. Thus, as he said, a member of our family who "bought" our values might be highly motivated to do some deeply charitable work, but without financial backing, they might be unable to do it. With the family's backing, however, they could. . . .

(I am reminded of what we were told while on staff at the U.S. Center for World Mission: that the average "faith mission" missionary has to invest over two years to "raising support" before they can go to the field. How great a "waste" is that of the prospective missionaries' time? [I would say it's a big waste. And a poor use of most prospective missionaries' talents and spiritual gifts. Since when is it reasonable to expect an evangelist, say, to be an effective fundraiser?] And how great an obstacle to them actually gettting to the field? [Major!] How many drop out before they finish raising funds? [Lots!] . . .)

So, Terry suggested, why not provide funds?

He envisioned for us what he says his own extended family is doing. In essence, he said, besides their own jobs, the cousins and kids of the cousins who are older than 21 run a family foundation and a family "company." They hold each other accountable to their family's shared values and operate, in some ways, as a kind of "angel investors" group one for the other. . . .

Anyway. The ideas intrigued me.

But/and Terry's admonitions encouraged me all the more to proceed with legacy planning and the establishment of a family mission statement and vision statement.

I don't want to go through the entire process. But on March 12th, Greg, Terry, Sarita and I worked together to hammer out a tentative vision statement for our family. What we did that day would be a preliminary glimpse at what we intended to do together as a family with our kids on March 31st.

So Saturday, March 31st came.

Let me continue this in a separate post. . . .

Wants #3: Family

Tougher and tougher!

Once more: McCarthy's list of eight areas of "wants":

• Physical/Health/Recreation
• Finance/Material Possessions
• Family
• Vocation/Career
• Social/Community
• Spiritual
• Mental/Intellectual
• Other

So I'm up to "Family."

I love my wife. As I identify myself here, I'm the "husband to the wife of my youth" . . . which is a direct reference to Proverbs 5:18b, but, by implication, to the section from Proverbs 5:15-20:

Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.
Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?
Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer--
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love.
Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress?
Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?

Family Goals

• I want to remain faithful to my wife above all else, when it comes to "Family." Though maybe faithful isn't even the right word. I want to love her . . . I think, to use a term from Scripture: "As Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her . . ." (Ephesians 5:25-26). --I'm afraid that may be a bit more "pie in the sky" than I want: I am sure I fail at it far too often. But that's my desire. That's what I want. . . .
  
  As I said back in Love Languages: The Gift of Gift-Giving . . . and Receiving:
  

  Closeness . . . means--and has always meant--[such] a great deal to me that [I permitted] no one--no one, not even any of our kids, even when they were exceptionally young-- . . . "get between" Sarita and me. If we were sitting in church: no one sat between us. Ever. It was simply understood. The symbolism was too great, too meaningful.

So that's #1.

After that, . . .

• I want to pass on a legacy of wisdom to my kids and grandkids. I'm not exactly sure what that means in practice. I think it includes thoughtfulness, and a desire for graciousness in speech and conduct. . . . And if and when we fail (which, I am afraid, we will all do far more often than we would prefer) . . . then I want them to be quick to seek forgiveness and reconciliation with the person(s) they have offended: to be "made right." That is a heart desire.

This one is really tough. I find myself torn, torn, torn on it.

On the one side:

• I don't want to be a "Cat's in the Cradle" dad:

  My child arrived just the other day
  He came to the world in the usual way
  But there were planes to catch and bills to pay.
  He learned to walk while I was away
  And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
  He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, Dad.
  You know I'm gonna be like you."
  
  And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
  Little boy blue and the man on the moon.
  "When you comin' home, Dad?"
  "I don't know when. But we'll get together then, son.
  You know we'll have a good time then."
  
  My son turned ten just the other day.
  He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad. Come on, let's play.
  Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today.
  I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
  And he walked away, and his smile never dimmed.
  He said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
  You know I'm gonna be like him. . . ."

  --Harry Chapin

My eyes tear up just writing those words!

I so much wish I could have had a closer relationship with my own dad. . . .

So: I want not to have a Harry Chapin-esque "Cat's in the Cradle" kind of relationship with my kids and grandkids.

But yet, at the same time, I have to confess, I have to fight my . . .

• humongously strong desire for . . . time to be by myself; time to think; time to . . . just "be."
  
  And I have never been "good" at--and



• I have no desire for--"chit chat" kinds of conversation.
  
  I endure it. I can "even"--when I'm really deliberate about it-- . . . I can "even" permit myself to enjoy light conversation: just "let it flow." But I will never seek it out. I will seek human company. And for the sake of such company, I will enjoy the camaraderie of light banter and "shooting the breeze." But if the conversation turns deep, if it turns "fierce": then I feel I'm truly in my element. . . .
  
  So that "reality" means
  
  
  • I find myself pretty shredded when my kids or grandkids are over.
    
    
  • I want to spend time with them, but
    
    
  • I don't "just" want light time, and
    
    
  • I don't want to force heavy time, and
    
    
  • I know I can't expect to enjoy the heavy times if I'm not "there" for them during the light banter times when, in the midst of such conversation the heavier topics will almost inevitably make themselves felt and known. . . .
  
  So I often find myself "apart" from the family, kind of "doing my thing," yet feeling drawn to--guilty, even, because I'm not involved in--their conversations.
  
  I guess I'm a kind of "double-minded" man at that point. . . .
  
  [Strange: This seems to be a pattern in our growing extended family. While the women watch the little ones (the grandkids) and enjoy fellowship one with another, the adult men in the family (other than me) seem to sneak off and play video games or watch movies together. I sit in my office, often at my computer, and do this kind of stuff--like writing blog posts. I don't join either group. Because I think video games are pretty stupid, and I don't enjoy "chit chat."
  
  But if the women decide to go for a walk or something, then I love to join them.]
  
  Weird.

Well. Back to wants.

Y'know? I can't really think of any more "wants" right now. I'm afraid this is as far as I'm going to be able to take this right now.

But as I said before: this is a start. And a start is better than no start at all.

So I'll quit now. . . .