Legalism v Relationship--for my homeschooling friends

Despite removing myself form the day-to-day operations of Sonlight Curriculum, I have maintained an interest in the broader homeschool community and some of the unique (and, sadly, sometimes, uniquely weird) aspects of homeschooling.

One of those areas has to do with a kind of . . . well, let me not label it. I'll let you decide for yourself exactly what I'm talking about.

I found the Recovering Grace Blog ("a Gothard generation shines light on the teachings of IBLP [Institute in Basic Life Principles] and ATI [Advanced Training Institute]") as a result of a post at the Commandments of Men blog.

And while at Recovering Grace, I saw a link to a post titled Vow vs. Relationship. The author begins her story with a brief summary of the ever-expanding pile of commitments she began making to God as a result of the teaching she was receiving from Bill Gothard and his ATI/IBLP. Finally, having become a member of the IBLP staff, one day,

Mr. Gothard presented the teaching on taking a “vow” to read your Bible 5 minutes per day. We were then told the story of the man who made a vow foolishly in the Old Testament and was forced to kill his own daughter to fulfill the vow. Needless to say, this put a very fearful aspect and seriousness to the vow. We were then told that should we break our vow by failing to read our Bible for 5 minutes per day, we would need to “catch up” by reading extra however many days we needed to in order to make sure we had the total number of minutes. At this time, I was still so eager to please everyone that I made the vow even though I had a lot of reservations about doing so.

This was the beginning of the end of my joy in the Christian life. I now had added on the top of an insurmountable number of commitments, a vow that I was scared to death to break. I knew in my heart that I had only set myself up for failure.

My walk with God had become a formula with a checklist. Did I fulfill my vow today? Check. Did I remember to spend a good bit of time praying? Check. Did I remember to keep my thoughts pure? Check. Did I remember to clear my conscience? Check. The list went on and on. The problem with this was that I was no longer desiring to know God more intimately, I was simply wanting to check the boxes to make sure I didn’t fall under severe judgment from God.

This started a downward spiral in my spiritual health. I was suddenly afraid to even spend time with God because I might say or do something wrong that would result in His displeasure. (Yes, I do know that God sees and hears everything even before it happens, but I was so burdened with my commitments that it felt easier to avoid His direct presence and hope He would turn a blind eye.) Through an illness where I wasn’t able to read very easily, I “got behind” on my vow. I tried a time or two to get caught up, but I was suddenly so far behind that I knew I would never meet with God’s requirement for me and I just needed to hang on and wait for the proverbial shoe to fall. . . .

At some point, the author began to compare what she had done in her relationship with God to the relationship she saw she had with her husband.

When I substituted the best relationship correlation that I knew of (the relationship with my husband), I realized how frustrating this must have been to my Savior. If I had a checklist of how I needed to please my husband and did nothing but that checklist, the relationship would be non-existent. Not to mention the fact that it would be totally one-sided because I wouldn’t have time to listen.

Oh, boy! Been there. Done that.

The author's conclusion:

All of the commitments I made while under the teaching of IBLP were good in and of themselves. There are many that I still believe are exactly how God wants me to live. However, I have realized that these commitments need to be gifts of love to present to my Savior as an outflowing of my grateful heart for all He has done for me. They don’t need to be the answer for the perfect Christian life and therefore become a god unto themselves.

Tithing: Replaced by Grace?

So I was talking with Jim about what he teaches concerning giving. And we got talking about how he has taught in the past, and how he might teach in the future.

He told me how his dad had pretty much required of him, from when he was very little, to tithe.

"I told my dad one day when I was getting $10 a week in allowance"--I forget exactly what Jim said he told his dad, but it was along the lines of--"One dollar out of ten dollars is really hard! Now, if I wait until I get a hundred dollars, then it will be much easier to give ten dollars!"

Except . . . Except, the world doesn't work like that.

Jesus said, "He who is faithful in a very little will be faithful, also, in much" (Luke 16:10). It doesn't seem to work the other way around. Few, if any of us start with great and big things and learn to be faithful there so that we can turn around and apply our good stewardship practices to little things as well.

No. We begin our training when we are children, with very little. And then, by God's grace, we are able to apply the lessons we learned when we were small to the bigger things in life.

******

I remember talking with my first boss on my first job outside of college. He was a self-professed practicing/devout Christian.

Somehow, it came out that Sarita and I tithed on our income. And not on the net, but on the gross. ("After all, God says he is a great king--the great King. And kings and governments don't take taxes based on what's 'left over.' They take it off the top. They get 'the first-fruits.' . . . " --For more on this particular subject, you may want to look at Malachi 1 where God complains about his people: "'Try offering [your (lousy, pitiful, meager) offerings] to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you?' says the LORD Almighty. . . . 'When you bring injured, crippled or diseased animals and offer them as sacrifices, should I accept them from your hands?' says the LORD. 'Cursed is the cheat who has an acceptable male in his flock and vows to give it, but then sacrifices a blemished animal to the Lord. For I am a great king,' says the LORD Almighty, 'and my name is to be feared among the nations'" (Malachi 1:8, 13-14).)

So I was telling my boss these things.

He expressed amazement.

"Why don't you wait to tithe until you've got a little money?!?" he asked. (He knew how poor we were. After all, he was my boss! ;-) )

He told me he had determined to become a millionaire by the time he was 39. "Then I'll be able to give some really decent money. But until then, I figure God will let me save it up so I can give him more. . . . "

"Right," I thought sarcastically.

It is only through the little acts of faithfulness, with the small things, that one is going to be capable of engaging in the major acts of faithfulness required with the big things.

Faithfulness, I believe, is a habit. And habits are formed when we are young. Or, should I say, now. They're formed now and not later. Or, as it has been said: The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The next best time is today.

If you want to become faithful, now is the time. If you want to be prepared for the right response should you ever be called upon to give your life for the sake of a greater good: you will be prepared for that right response by sacrificing the little things today. . . .

Why should giving $10 out of $100 be easier than giving $1 out of $10? Or $100,000 out of a million? If you haven't established--through practice--the habit of mind, it's not going to happen. Period. But when you establish the habit early and with little things, the habit of giving becomes engrained and, I can confess, it does, indeed, become a whole lot easier.

I mentioned a friend who said she believes tithing is "an Old Testament law that was replaced by grace."

I've heard that perspective before. And I find it interesting.

"Replaced by grace"? What does that mean?

In one sense, I would say, I think she is correct. It has been replaced by grace. It was "replaced by grace" in the Old Testament as well: at least once, that I can remember. Exodus 36:3-7:

[The workmen] received from Moses all the offerings the Israelites had brought to carry out the work of constructing the sanctuary. And the people continued to bring freewill offerings morning after morning. So all the skilled craftsmen who were doing all the work on the sanctuary left their work and said to Moses, "The people are bringing more than enough for doing the work the LORD commanded to be done."

Then Moses gave an order and they sent this word throughout the camp: "No man or woman is to make anything else as an offering for the sanctuary." And so the people were restrained from bringing more, because what they already had was more than enough to do all the work.

But otherwise, what does that mean that the tithe has been replaced by grace? That we ought to feel no compunction to give a minimal 10% of our income for God's work--whether more "spiritually" oriented or of a more "secular" nature?

I look around--Lord! May I not become judgmental!--and I see people--fathers, mothers, heads of households--placing a dollar in the offering plate. Or a five dollar bill. Maybe even a twenty. Wow! They are so "generous"! --Sarcastic again. (Lord, have mercy.)

Would they expect to go to a movie for a dollar? For five dollars? For a family?

Would they expect to get into a basketball game? A football game? For $20?

Oh! I guess church isn't entertaining. And why should we pay for anything that doesn't give us pleasure? After all, isn't life about us, us, us ("me, me, me!")?!?

Or is it?

Or why do we give?

Or why should we give?

"Grace," indeed, that a person would have no idea why s/he should give, why s/he should have any concern about anything besides him- or herself!

We have so much "grace," apparently, that we have no idea what it means to give.

Is it grace, on God's part, to permit us to be miserly? Is that what "replaced by grace" means: "Graced to be miserly"? "Graced to be self-centered"?

I wonder, instead, if the grace we are to experience begins with the minimal discipline, when we are children, when we are being tutored toward maturity (I think of God's people in the Old Testament, Galatians 3:24): I wonder if the grace we are to experience sets the tithe as the minimum we should think of giving . . . because we have been graciously afforded the opportunity and ability to do and give so much more.