Shock . . . and awe . . . and relief

Several times yesterday afternoon as the events of the day unfolded, I found myself on the edge of deep emotion. But something held me back from letting go. Maybe it was an innate realization that I needed to "hold myself together" for somebody--or many somebody's--else.

* While still at home and the grave nature of the situation began to break upon our consciousness: Dave coming out of the bathroom where Jonelle was: "Could we have a towel or something? Jonelle is bleeding really badly."

* A few moments later . . . hearing the quiet gasping, whimpering, crying from through the open bathroom door as Jonelle tried to deal with the situation largely on her own, but, of course, with some help from Dave.

* On the way to the hospital: Jonelle crying softly in the back seat, apologizing that this wasn't according to plan. "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" --"No, no. It's okay, Sweetheart! There's nothing to be sorry for. You've done everything you can. . . ."

* At the hospital: Dave had called ahead, en route, so they told us which entrance to come to, and Dave ran on ahead as soon as I stopped the car (and left it running) at the entrance. So by the time I was able to help Jonelle out of the back seat, a woman was there with a wheelchair. . . . But then we sat there waiting by the elevators for what seemed like an eternity, Jonelle bleeding and crying . . . and suddenly it hit me: "She could lose this baby! And after nine months!" --That, I think, was the first moment when I thought I myself might break down and begin to cry.

* Later, in the hospital room, as they wheeled Jonelle out for surgery, Dave began crying and I put my arm around him and started to pray . . . out loud.

* The miracle of seeing a beautiful, "perfect" new baby. . . .

* Jonelle, pasty-faced, absolutely ashen, being wheeled by, for all we could see, unconscious, on the way to her room . . . well over an hour after we had been told she had come out of surgery. --Yipes! We really were dealing with a life-and-death situation!

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I "held it together" all evening. But I felt wooden. Leaden. Heavy. Tired. Like I wanted to cry, but I didn't have anything, specific, to cry about.

Sarita isn't the most emotionally demonstrative person in the world (!!! :-) ) and she buried herself in a book.

I decided to watch a movie. So I started Good Will Hunting. That's a nice emotional movie.

Robin Williams plays his character's deep emotions absolutely magnificently.

An hour into the movie, it was 10:30. I turned it off. Time for bed. Or time for something.

I went upstairs and tottered over to the couch opposite Sarita.

And then I was able to have my cry.

I got to re-live the details of the day, the details she had missed while I was at the hospital with Dave and Jonelle, the emotions I had gone through.

I almost lost my daughter! We almost lost our daughter! . . . And we could have lost our granddaughter, too! . . . "A few more hours! . . ." the hospital staff had said.

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I am so glad we live in a place where, on the one hand, we can have a home birth with a midwife if and as long as things go well; we can also get to a hospital on a few minutes' notice and have a baby delivered relatively safely by c-section if the conditions warrant.

And our daughter is alive. And our granddaughter is alive. And the sun is shining on this new day.

AMA and ACOG: Concerned for health or concerned for profits?

I'm astonished that less than three weeks after first having the idea even brought to my attention, I bump once more into the issue of home birthing and abortion: where, we realize, the same people who promote abortion oppose home births.

Jennifer F blogs,

American Medical Association comes out against homebirth

Both the American Medical Association and the American College of Obstetric[ian]s and Gynecologists are speaking out against homebirth. The ACOG is very concerned about the safety of newborns, when they're not supporting their brutal murders (see excerpted quote [concerning D&X abortions] towards the middle at that link).

We hear about the treatment our home-birth-bound daughters are receiving from their midwives. We also hear about the treatment that our daughters' more conventionally-oriented friends are receiving from their obstetricians.

Now, I have nothing against qualified, compassionate and diligent obstetricians. But after hearing about--and seeing--the kind of treatment our daughters are receiving at the hands of their midwives, I think there is no reason for the ACOG or AMA to be going after these diligent, compassionate, and highly-qualified midwives, either . . . except and unless their (ACOG's and AMA's) primary concern has to do with erecting and/or maintaining a virtual monopoly on the care of pregnant women and their babies.

Where did the Hippocratic Oath go?

Doctors used to swear to uphold the Hippocratic Oath: "I swear . . . I will prescribe regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability and my judgment and never do harm to anyone. . . ."

It seems that oath is less and less in anyone's mind these days.

Our daughters are both pregnant, both expecting in the next couple of weeks, and both planning home births under the care of licensed and experienced midwives.

Today, as we gathered for a family 4th of July/Independence Day celebration, they got talking about their experiences.

They began by raving about the wonderful care they receive at the hands of their midwives. No junk food for them! No! Their midwives are almost martinets in the demands they make and the disciplines they require of them. But, boy! Are our daughters healthy. And they expect to bear healthy babies.

They compared their experiences with those of friends they know who are also pregnant: the foods their friends eat, their weights, the blood pressure issues these others are facing, and so forth. Likely because of their poor habits during the course of their pregnancies--or because it is simply becoming more and more "policy" among a lot of Ob/Gyns--a few of their friends expect to have C-sections.

Of course, all of that kind of care is paid for by their health insurance.

And our daughters? Both (together with their husbands, of course!) will have to pay for everything (unless they are transported to the hospital because of some emergency, last-minute complication). Their insurance doesn't cover services by midwives.

"Oh!" said one daughter. "But I was looking at our company's health policy. They do cover abortions. . . .

Oh. And then I just read that, in Britain at least, there is a significant push to permit nurses to perform abortions, no medical doctor required to be present. (Medical doctor "supervision" is sufficient, apparently.)

. . . So the Western world moves more and more toward the denigration of life and the preference for death. . . .

Oh. And concerning that Hippocratic Oath, again.

I had forgotten that it continues beyond the brief portion I quoted above. The next two paragraphs continue:

To please no one will I prescribe a deadly drug nor give advice which may cause his death.

Nor will I give a woman a pessary to procure abortion. . . .