I wanted to find out who Carol Ann Wilson is on whose website I was led to
Wilson has a page dedicated to honoring the South. And down toward the bottom of the page, she shares a number of Southern speech patterns.
First, "things you will never hear a Southern boy say," then some favorite aphorisms by Will Rogers who, as Wilson notes, "wasn't from the South," but whose "wisdom is dead-on Southern--especially the part of the South that includes the Republic of Texas." (Wilson is from Texas.)
I thought the following were particularly funny:
- It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.
- If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.
- Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
- If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
- Never miss a good chance to shut up. [I'm afraid I need to learn this one. --JAH]