I’m not completely sure why, but the desire has grown stronger and stronger in me over the last many months to "move on": not to leave Sonlight completely, but to do something else in addition to Sonlight. I sense I’m not needed at Sonlight in the way I once was. Indeed, my continued full-time, hands-on involvement in the day-to-day operations of the company is probably pulling me away from some important things I should be doing somewhere else (or, perhaps, in some other manner).
I think I’ve given hints about this pull toward "something else." I know I have mentioned the Unique Ability book.
I seem to recall mentioning the biography of my brother that I’ve been working on for a few months, now. But there are other books, too, that I’m feeling the strong urge to write--books that aren’t closely associated with Sonlight Curriculum. [For example: I have felt strongly that I should write a biography of world-changer John Wesley--based on my reading in a long out-of-print book titled England Before and After Wesley. God absolutely transformed English and American culture through that man! English society, according to what I have been able to gather, was probably more debauched than American society today. And yet it was changed. --I believe we need to acquire hope for the future based on these stories from the past. . . .]
There are other things, too, I’ve been thinking maybe I should get involved in. (My trip last fall with my brother to India inspired me. . . . )
I don’t need to go into the details. I don’t honestly know most of the details. (Do I know any of the details? I’m not sure!)
The reason I mention these things right here and right now, however, is because I’ve begun spending more concentrated time reading and thinking about life, about how I should spend my time, how I should invest my talents.
Bob Buford suggests (Half Time) that most men get to some point in their lives where they need to move "from success to significance." I don’t think that’s quite what’s going on with me. I sense I’ve always been involved in significant endeavors.
But I sense I am coming to a point where I need to move on from full-time involvement in one significant endeavor (Sonlight--which others can now handle) to increased involvement in another endeavor which, for whatever reason, God has specially enabled me to do.
I share these things in no way to alarm you or to indicate an immediate or imminent change, but, rather, to invite you (or your husband?) to join me, if you’d like, in the exploration.
Perhaps you are feeling a similar tug to "move on" to something different--something that, at this point in your life, would be bigger or more significant than what you are currently involved in? Perhaps you have found a wonderful book or some wise counsel? . . . Or maybe I have found a good book or wise counsel that could encourage you?
Either way, I would like to offer myself to share this journey with you.
If you’re interested in joining me on the journey--I don’t know where even this offer will lead, but I want to be open.
Meanwhile, let me leave you with the following thought that I ran across in my reading. I found it challenging and bracing:
Youth is not a period of time. It is a state of mind, a result of the will, a quality of the imagination, a victory of courage over timidity, of the taste for adventure over the love of comfort. A man doesn't grow old because he has lived a certain number of years. A man grows old when he deserts his ideal. The years may wrinkle his skin, but deserting his ideal wrinkles his soul. Preoccupations, fears, doubts, and despair are the enemies which slowly bow us toward earth and turn us into dust before death. You will remain young as long as you are open to what is beautiful, good, and great; receptive to the messages of other men and women, of nature and of God. If one day you should become bitter, pessimistic, and gnawed by despair, may God have mercy on your old man's soul. --General Douglas MacArthur